A Mommy Tantrum

I am not looking forward to this week. In fact I'm dreading it. I realize that's a terrible attitude, but, like Allie, emotion is something I feel deeply. And the "drama queen" in me soaks up all I feel into a big sponge and then wrings it out, squeezing until my knuckles turn white. Any time I feel "in the depths of despair," to quote Anne Shirley, I interpret that either as my life is ending or that I just hate that life. Of course it's not I I really do think my life is ending, nor do I really hate my life (wow, I would be seriously ungrateful!), but I have the habit of creating a hyperbole out of every situation.

This evening after dinner I thought it might be nice to go for a Sunday stroll. It is beginning to get a wee bit cooler (all right, it's just not as hot) in the evenings and I was feeling trapped-- needed to get out and walk, blow off some of the steam that was building up from all the whining and neediness. "Mommy, Mommy (whine, whine, whine), " or "Mom, (whine, whine, whine) I want some fruuuuuit snaaaacks." Lovely. Allie then announced, "Mom, I have to go potty."

"Great, Allie, let's go." I grabbed her hand, and we walk to the bathroom. She stood there and danced around. I realized she needed help with her dress, so I got that off of her. She still stood there... doing nothing.

"Allie, what are you doing? Pull your underwear down."

"No, you do it, Mom." Are you kidding me? I walked out. A tantrum followed, and the little twerp went in "time-out." After she finished her sentence, I took her hand and we walked back to the bathroom. No problems this time. It did take twenty minutes to get her back in her clothes, though.

Finally, we were ready to go on a walk. The amount of time for that walk was continually getting shorter and shorter. I announced for Allie to get her shoes on, and Sami tried to help herself by slipping on one of my heels. She looked at me and declared, "Shoes!" Good job, Sam.

We all went in the kitchen, but then Allie saw what Sami was wearing. "Sam, you can't wear that shoe," and she began to reach for Sami's foot.

"Allie, no, don't take it off. I'll do it." She didn't listen. "Allie, stop! Don't!" She picked up Sami's foot from behind and began pulling her leg, and Sami fell. "Allie, I said no! What part of that don't you understand!" I lost it. "Allie, why can't you just leave her alone! And why can't you just listen to me?!"

"How would you like it, " and I walked behind her,"if I said, 'I don't want you to wear those shoes, Allie! Take them off!' and grabbed your foot like this..." I grabbed her foot, not anticipating that she would try to move forward at the same moment. The combination of the two movements, threw her off balance, and she went flying to the side, her head hitting the dishwasher. She burst out crying, and I knew she was hurt. I picked her up and carried her to the couch to examine her. She held her ear, and I pulled her hand away to find the top of her ear had been split open. I rushed her to the bathroom and put pressure on the wound with a damp washcloth. Unfortunately, I was in such a bad mood at this point that I couldn't even feel sorry, and I was getting irritated with Sami who had followed me into the little bathroom and was trying to play around me. Within five minutes the bleeding had stopped, but I kept pressure on it for about five minutes more, just to make sure. I applied the antibiotic ointment, and a bandage, and then I finally began feeling remorseful. I hugged her and apologized. She's always so quick to forgive. By then it was way too late for a walk, but we went on one anyway. I needed a distraction.

Of course, my "mommy tantrum" picked up right where it left off when we walked in the house as Allie whined and demanded that I put her shoes on the shoe rack, which was right next to her. The conversation distracted me, causing me to walk into and knock over Sami, who then whacked her head on the tile.

Ugh. Will I ever get this right?