Someday, if I ever get to design my own house, it will have one important feature. Or rather, it will lack one. My bathroom will have no mirror. Oh, yes. Just above my sink will be... nothing. Okay, well, maybe not nothing-- I mean, like, maybe a picture or two. Maybe. I just want to be able to walk in and out of the bathroom without little voices picking out all of my physical faults. Look at those stretch marks! You sure ain't 18 anymore! or Ouch! Looks like those wrinkles are getting a bit more defined, don't you think? or Did any of those blueberries from lunch get stuck in your teeth? Ya don't want to go into Target looking like a fool... Those voices have much more to say than that, but I won't go into it. Not exactly "G" rated.
I think those voices must live inside my mirror. So that's why I won't have one. So there.
After dropping Drew off at school, as I drove home, I pondered the changes my body has gone through since I bore my first child. Perhaps with Allie's ninth birthday being yesterday, I am a bit more reflective.
Parts of me are stretched, sagged, scarred, or shrunken. I often think of these as being my "battle wounds." But when I see it all in the mirror, those voices tell me I am worth less because of it all-- that I'm not as beautiful.
But as I sat in the car today, I realized something I had known all along. Those "battle wounds" are there not to punish me or make me feel less feminine, but to remind me of the sacrifices I have made to perform the most feminine and even most divine act possible on earth-- to give life. They are there to remind me and my children that I have cared more about them than myself.
And I drew a parallel.
I thought of the Savior, and how as the resurrected Lord, He was recognized by the nail prints in His hands and the spear wound in His side. His very own "battle wounds" are a reminder to us of His ultimate and infinite sacrifice-- to give us new life. They were there to remind us that He cares more about each of us than Himself.
"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." (John 15:13) Now that is beautiful, don't you think?
Every mother is given, in the sacrifice of her own body to bear children, just a small glimpse of the pure love the Lord has for all of Heavenly Father's children. We will do whatever it takes to bring these precious souls to our families, even if it means the giving up of our bodies or even our very lives.
How could I look in the mirror and see these marks of divinity and allow these nasty, hateful little voices in my mirror to tell me I am worthless?
Who knows if I will ever get to build my mirror-less dream bathroom... Actually, in being completely realistic, I'm pretty sure I never will.
So in the meantime, I will have the privilege of admiring my stretch marks and deepening wrinkles each and everyday. But I should probably still check for the blueberries in my teeth.
I don't want to go into Target looking like a fool.
2 years ago
