"My Mom" by Allie

Allie made this rad book for me at school. Mrs. Bolick's art projects rock my world!



"Even When I'm All Grown Up... I'll Still Love You!" A bookmark.





"My mom looks the prettiest when she 'wears her Cinderella dress.'"




"If I had $100 I would buy my mom a ... 'teddy bear.'" (That better be one dang-good bear!)



"My mom's favorite food is... 'Spaghettio's.'" (Wishful thinking...)



"My mom loves me because... 'she doesn't want me to get hurt.'" (Perhaps we talk about avoiding injury too much.)



This speaks VOLUMES...



I adore our little girl.

Mother's Day

I got the special treatment today. Kevin makes sure of that every year, so Mother's Day really is one of my favorite days of the year. It's the day where I'm not asked to lift a finger, and am actually asked not to.

I awoke this morning to an empty bed, with the bedroom door still closed. He wasn't in the bathroom, so I figured he was sneaking around the kitchen trying to prepare breakfast without waking me. I waited about ten minutes or so before attempting to leave to get Drew from his room so I could nurse him. Kevin met me at the door and offered to get Drew for me. I guess he really didn't want me to come out. I peaked over his shoulder and saw the girls coloring on paper on the coffee table.

Sweet.

So, I nursed Drew, and soon the girls came in singing, "Happy Mother's Day, Mommy!" holding up with pride the fine pieces of artwork created with a pen and a red crayon. We sat on the bed and played with Drew till the aroma of homemade waffles and scrambled eggs wafted into the bedroom. Dad soon appeared to announce breakfast was ready.

He had set the table and everything. After we prayed, we ate. The waffles were fluffy, the eggs cheesy and onion-y. Good stuff-- it's too bad my appetite for breakfast is so small.

Kevin even cleaned up all the breakfast dishes, too.

After church, he made dinner, too-- Jambalaya. I offered to help with dishes, but he looked at me "like I had lobsters crawling out of my ears" (Anyone? It's from A Christmas Story...), and said, "No! It's Mother's Day." We even got the kids in bed 30 minutes early. I almost don't know what to do with myself.

Maybe I should write a blog post.

Allie's Ballet Recital

Allie had her Spring ballet recital on Friday evening. She actually had a support group consisting of more than her immediate family this time. Her Grandma and Grandpa Smith were able to make it over from Deseret Ranch, her Primary teacher Sister Onines and her husband showed up, as well as Jill and her girls. Allie really loves the spotlight, so performing for her is fun. Man, she was cute. (In the video, she's the "leader of the pack," or the one who always leads the lines. Her position is the front left.)

And then on Saturday afternoon, the kids took their performances over to an assisted living facility. Only two of the four girls in her class showed up, but Allie and little Grace still did a sweet job.

In light of Mother's Day...

There is one very sweet irony to motherhood. With age, and with the birth of each child, a mother gains wisdom, and she is fully aware of this. I know I'm a heck of a lot smarter than I was five years ago. Funny thing about this is that I'm also much more aware of how stupid I inherently am-- of how little I really know in the grand scheme of things. Oh yes, back before I had children I thought I was a genius when it came to child rearing. I could tell you why so-and-so was out of control, or why what's-his-face seemed slow to speak. Now? I keep my mouth shut... for the most part, because just as my three-year-old Sami reminds me daily, "Mom, you don't know anything!" Yep, she actually says that-- I think she picked it up from one silly line in a book we read to her.

As a mother, I see my strengths and weaknesses so much more clearly now than ever before. The quality of humility takes on a whole new meaning-- really knowing where my place is in life, really seeing who I am in a completely realistic sense. I'm not as awesome as I thought I was, and yet, I'm even more so. For all the times I struggle with patience, giving a short, curt answer to one of Allie's constant questions or "losing it" after repeating myself three hundred times to "stop staring at yourself in the mirror and just get ready for school!", I also am reminded of where I triumph, in ways I never thought I would excel. The need for juggling and organization has brought out a talent for planning I never thought I had. Or Kevin constantly reminds me of how he'd rather eat at home than go out "because the food you make is better." Wow! Really? My food? I could barely crack an egg when we were first married.

But I think the most important thing being a mother has taught me has been that life doesn't revolve around me. I have been forced to look beyond myself, seeking to fulfill the needs of my family. Of course, part of maintaining some mental health in this process is also taking some time for myself, to pursue my own interests, which I do, and which my husband fully supports. But those interests are no longer the center of my life-- my family is. What I choose to do needs to benefit them in the end, or it's just not worth the time or energy.

And thus we have the lesson of sacrifice God gives us through this divine calling as a mother. This calling breaks us down into nothing, and then asks us to give all of what is left from a heap of rubble. Yet, in giving with faith, we are built back up into something beautiful and strong. I think of the strongest, most stunning mothers I know, those whose eyes shine bright with wisdom-- their hair graying, their skin worn with wrinkles, yet radiant. They never walked out on their calling, or on the Lord, and He never walked out on them.

As for me? I'm still at the "heap of rubble" stage.