My "Favorite" Day of the Week

From what every seasoned parent I know tells me, every stage of parenting has its own set of struggles, as well as its own rewards-- each being unique to that particular part of life. I have come to realize one of the reasons why the toddler/baby stage is hard. If you have never attempted to attend church with your kids, you're not really going to be able to relate, but feel free to read on nonetheless-- you might learn something.

Every Sunday we go through the same routine-- wake up, eat breakfast, bathe the kids, fight Sami into to her dress, avoid a fight with Allie picking out what she wants to wear, put Sami down for a nap, get ourselves showered and dressed, eat lunch, get in the car and head to the church. The only detail varying being whether or not Allie is in a "mood." After getting to church, I spend the next hour leading ward choir practice while Kevin attempts to sing and chase children simultaneously. Then comes Sacrament Meeting, a meeting we Mormons understand as the most important meeting of the week-- the time where we not only are spiritually fed by one another, since we all are given opportunities to give "sermons," but we also partake of the sacred ordinance of the sacrament, a crucial ordinance that allows us to renew our baptismal covenants to the Lord. I remember the days when I would come away from Sacrament Meeting feeling renewed, re-energized, recommitted. I felt "on top of the world." Now I come away from Sacrament Meeting physically and mentally exhausted, and mortified at the thought of our screaming children possibly having driven others to anger, disappointment, or even inactivity. Many a Sunday I come home and wonder, sometimes aloud, why on earth we put ourselves through that. Why do we even go?

I end up feeling guilty that I come away from church so often not feeling that spiritual renewal I felt at one time, figuring it to somehow be my fault-- that I'm just not trying hard enough to multi-task.

This past weekend was the semi-annual General Conference for our church, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We watched the first two sessions on Saturday over the internet. Then as a tradition, for the first session on Sunday we got in our Sunday best and went to watch the broadcast at the church building. I got so much more out of the Saturday sessions, since Sunday Kev and I spent the whole time ushering screaming kids out of the chapel. That experience frustrated me, and is actually what got me thinking about all this again. I am going to church now, not so much because I know I'm going to get anything out of it, but merely out of obedience, all while trying to having faith that the Lord will bless us for the effort. But, you know, this is what I realized...

The Lord knows it's hard. He knows it's hard on the parents, and he knows it's hard on the rest of the congregation. And he knows it's hard on the little ones themselves, having to learn to sit still and quietly for a really long time, all the while only catching a word or two that he or she understands at all. I truly believe, too, that He doesn't really expect me to get all that much out of the meetings, and that I'll have plenty of time in later years for that. This is just a test of my faith, to see if I can be obedient even when it's difficult and when the blessings are not readily available to me. I need not feel guilty, because in reality, I am doing my best, and sometimes we are just expected to do the right thing when rewards are not immediate. That's a lesson in patience...

...which is another quality I'd really like to possess one day.