My Weekend Epiphany

I hate sales parties. And I fully realize that in by advertising that piece of information, I probably never get invited to one ever again. It's not the social aspect of it that I hate, because I'm totally fine with get-togethers. After all, we just had a birthday party for the girls on Saturday, but I'll talk about that later. I just can't stand the pressure involved at sales parties-- pressure to buy something, pressure to become a sales rep of whatever the heck the product is, pressure to have a party yourself to "help out" the hostess, pressure to stay the whole time, etc. Here's what made me think of all this...

Saturday afternoon I went to a Princess House party down the street. My neighbor friend Ivonne had actually invited me to one about a month ago, but I couldn't go. Then about a week ago, she and her neighbor Ana came by the house to invite me to another Princess House party. I thought it was weird that they were having parties for the same product back-to-back, but I knew I didn't have anything going on that day, so I told them I'd be there. The invitation said 2pm, so come that time Saturday I walked over to Ana's house about five minutes late-- you know, the whole "fashionably late" thing. I ended up being the first one there, and thought, Ah man! I hate being the first one! Oh well.

I sat on the couch and tried to make small talk with Tawnya, the sales consultant-- trying to break down that "salesman" barrier, pushing her to talk about things non-Princess-House related, which she seemed extremely uncomfortable doing. Forty minutes later, only one other person had showed up, a cute, Honduras-born, non-English-speaking girl that drove from Jacksonville with her daughter. At that point, Tawnya told Ana to just get started since Ana really had no idea who was or wasn't coming. So, it was Ana and her daughter Martha (yes, "Martha", and not "Marta") who, by the way, are from Columbia and also don't speak English all that well, the girl from Honduras, and I. And I previously had known none of them. After wondering where Ivonne was, I found out from Ana that Ivonne had woken up sick that morning and wasn't coming. Dang it!

Tawnya got started first showing us a teapot. A teapot! Fantastic. What on earth is a Mormon going to do with a teapot? Then after a nice casserole dish that I'd have no room for, she showed us cafe mugs. Cafe mugs? Oh right, for all those cappuccinos I make. Duh! This went on for an hour-- for the most part showing us things that either I wouldn't use or wouldn't have room for. I only saw one thing that interested me-- a saucepan, and that's merely because I had just ruined mine a week ago, having burned spaghetti sauce to the bottom. I thought maybe I'd get that, when I glanced down at my watch. It was quarter to four at that point, and I had told Kev the party would probably only last and hour and half at the most. I didn't think we'd start it 45 minutes late! Martha had put my purse around the corner, so I went to it to check my phone to see if Kev had called. He had, so I called him back.

"Yeah, Kris, I was kind of wanting to go the the Scout shop to get some stuff, but if you're still doing stuff I can take the girls with me."

"Oh no, it's fine, believe me! I'll come home and watch the girls." Saved!

I went back into the living room, and explained how I needed to go. Somehow, they conned me into bringing the girls back to the party so I could purchase what I was interested in. I left... and walked home really slowly. After walking through the door, and getting the girls ready to go, Kev called the shop to discover they were closed anyway, but since Allie, our little "social butterfly," already thought she was going to see people, I had to take her with me.

Allie and Emily, the little girl from Jacksonville (she also was learning English), seemed to hit it off and began playing right away. We had arrived just in time to start purchasing items, which was good 'cause I figured it would be done soon. Once everyone finished purchasing, she told us we were going to play some "roll the dice" game, a seriously manipulative game at that. One where, basically, if you roll certain numbers, most of the numbers, you get a prize but have to have a party. See, if Ana could get two of her guests to commit to parties, then she could get free stuff. Normally, I wouldn't play that in a million years. Heck no, I didn't want to have a party! But since Ana only had three guests present, I kind of felt a bit obligated to play the game. And, of course, no amount of praying could keep those dice from hitting on one of those "magic" numbers. Sure I got a pretty little votive, but I also had to commit to giving a party. Then she spent the next fifteen minutes after that explaining the whole party process and then trying to convince me to become a consultant myself. I was pretty firm on that one, though. My CUTCO experience back in '98 was enough-- no more sales for me!

I finally got out of there at about 5:30. Yes, 5:30! And as much as I was grateful for the opportunity to get to know my sweet Columbian-born neighbor, I was so ticked off at myself for even feeling obligated to play that stupid game to "help out" someone I hardly knew. I was even more ticked off at all of her other friends that left her hangin,' and left me alone to "pick up the slack." So, I went home in a bad mood-- mad at the world. I really wanted to cancel it, and after talking with Kev about it, realized she manipulated me into making a commitment I felt I had to keep. Who said I had to keep it? It's not like I was going to be in trouble with the law for not holding a party! Last night I got up the guts and called Tawnya. She tried to convince me to still go through with it, using guilt as a tactic-- telling me about how I'd essentially how I'd be letting down Ana who thought because of my party she'd be getting some free stuff. I told her Ana would understand, and if she doesn't, then oh well. She even asked me, "Is your husband not letting you do it?" What?! Kev was sitting next to me reading, and had heard her ask that. He was tempted to grab the phone and yell, "Excuse me? My wife does whatever she wants!"

Well, I got out of it. I do have to return my votive, and go over and "break the news" to Ana. But I'm just relieved I don't have to put all my friends thought the crud I've been through. And if any of you out there had been thinking about inviting me to a sales party of some type, don't hesitate to do so. I'm fine to look at the stuff. But don't expect to be coming over to my house for one of those any time soon.