Patience... an update

These are comments I received after putting this post on Facebook...

“Specifically on the getting dressed issue.....when my oldest (now 20) was about 4 I had the same problem. Was still in the AF at the time and had to get the 2 children to the babysitter and get to work on time every morning, so dressing in a timely manner was crucial. Finally, one cool winter morning when he was again running around in his underwear oblivious to the need to dress, I told him when we were leaving. I told him if he wanted to stay warm and comfortable he would need to dress. He didn't. I took him to the babysitters in his underwear. I beleive he had a towel to keep the chill off for the 20 min ride. He was mortified. Never had another problem.” – Tamsey Audet
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“Krissy you totally crack me up! Patience has never been one of my greater talents so I know what you mean. This has worked with my kids. I tell them once, the second time is a warning and the third is a time-out or loss of privlege (depending on age, kid, and situation). The trick though is being 100 % consistent so they clearly understand that you are serious and they know what to expect if they don't listen. After a few days of it my kids responded by the 1st request (most of the time). Good luck, once you figure out what will work for your kids, they'll move into another stage to test your patience yet again :)” – Andrea Curtis
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“First of all you are NOT the only mom out there loosing her cool....I swear I have the patience of a saint when it comes to other people's children but put mine in a room and listen to them fight for even a second and I have lost it. I have tried a few things with my children and for a time they work. 1st attempt at teaching obedience/consequence we had a chart....Get caught doing good= a sticker, get caught not doing good=loss of sticker. At the end of the week they could go to the prize drawer and pick something based on stickers earned. 2nd one that we are using right now is the simple Green, Yellow, Red card system. It is very visual and instead of me yelling constantly and feeling terrible I change it, tell them and then they have the chance to earn back their green card. But the Red card results in a loss of privlege or a time out. Seems to be working...for now. :)” – Lori Weston Orton
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“Krissy ~ your children are wonderful! I always told Beth "if you have to choose to be good at home or away, choose away. You are loved here unconditionally." In all my years of daycare and observing children they tend to misbehave where they are most comfortable. That really should be inside the home. But on to your question: I got so aggrevated with Beth dawdling and ignoring me that I would take a random time and say get dressed. After her taking FOREVER I would say "never mind - it's to late now. I wanted to take you to the park/beach/movies/whatever". I always had a little something planned. Then occasionally she would do everything in a timely manner and we would go out for ice cream or something planned. If she asked why she had to clean up her room I would say because I asked you to. If she did it immediatly, I would say "Oh, you did that so quick. I thought it would take longer. Now we have time to read your favorite book or bake cookies or whatever I was planning... to do anyway. (I've never run out of space on a post before - I should have just sent an email). Finally - everyday, several times a day, I would pray that I would be the mother she needed and be able to teach her and guide her to best benefit her. You know your children better than anyone. If you stop and pray each time you will not only find more patience, you will know what to do for each of your children at any given moment to teach and guide them. Love you and your wonderful family.” – Jennifer Westbrook
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“well, i mostly whack mine...just kidding. I like Jennifer's post. I remember clearly one time sitting with Julia and before i spoke I prayed "Jesus, please tell me what she needs" and the next thing I said was "I love you". Her shoulders just relaxed so much and that conversation went well. I wish I had prayed more often but I don't know that the answer would have come so quickly every time. Now that Julia is 13, I should be in prayer 24/7...! Lots of arguments and struggles. And I do think that I got slack after awhile on consequences when she was younger and I am suffering for that now. Train up a child in the way she should go...Hang in there, momma! You're wonderful! Will you be my mommy?” – Allison Cobb
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“Andrea Curtis' method is how we raised our kids. It's the follow thru that wears you out - but is critical - CRITICAL.

In PMG it says patience is the capacity to endure - or delay - trouble, opposition or sufferning without becoming angry, frustrated or anxious. "Patience is related to hope and faith - you must wait for the Lord's promised blessing to be fulfilled."

So hang in there. :-)” – John A. Price
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“ok, I like what Jennifer wrote, however if I told maddy to do something and she didn't do it so I told her oh well, then we can't do what I had planned, she would throw herself into hysterics! I hate the whining and crying!! Now as for Tamsey's comment, oh goodness, do I even dare do that to maddy come school time? cause she is SO slow that we were always late for Pre k!

k, so this isn't about me but you, but you sound just like me, so I"m you, well you're me, no no, I mean we're each other or, well, not really or quite, but um....

at this point should I just try to give you advice? lol, KIDDING! my biggest tactic is to just talk softly (keeps me from raising my voice -doesn't always work) and I sometimes use the ignore tactic. I'll purposefully sit down and start doing something with my other kids and not include her. Then she does what I've asked and we all get to do 'whatever' together. Patience is my biggest struggle!!!” – Jessica McCrary Jones
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” men you have patience.I will wipp butts. no patience even if i slept night and day.no wonder why i like hitler!!!! he is a taurus too. LOL Boy i am in trouble...” – Yola Abdou
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“Patience eh?
Your patience, their training. There is a balance in there somewhere. Of course, about the time you get it all figured out they will be grown. And guess what? They will be fine.
You don't have to be perfect, just keep doing your best and the Lord will fill in the little gaps here and there.

Get off your own back. You are a very good Mom! You have a home filled with love, you honor God and you are teaching those things through word and example.” – Scott Kidwell (Dad)
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“It's good to see that I am not the only mom who looses it. Matt told me the other day I needed to stop yelling. So I yelled at him. I'm sorry, but at the end of the day - most of which I've kept my cool for - I have no patience for the whinning and dramatics as I'm now trying to make dinner. I'll go from talking nicely - which cant' be heard over their screaming, to talking firmly, which I just get given the "evil eye", to screaming at the top of my lungs just to try to be heard - and I lost MY voice! If you find the miracle way, please fill me in. As for the dressing issues - Madysen hates to get dressed in the morning for school. I've now gotten to the point where I tell her to pick out her own clothes and get dressed. Sometimes the clothes match- other times, like last week, she went it mismatched pjs. Or her shorts were on backwards. It just wasn't worth the fight. Since she wouldn't let me do her hair- it went as it was- a MESS! I'll just worry about it on special days & church” – Shawna Putt Gonzalez