It happened again...

I'm at the library right now, logging in merely to let you all know that until further notice, I can't access my blog from the house. So, I won't be blogging for a while. Sorry, dudes.

Allie's Dance Camp

Here's a video of Allie (second from left-- notice how she has no shoes :)-- see "Missed the Boat" post) doing the doll's dance she learned in dance camp during the past two weeks. This is only half her class-- they "performed" the dance for the parents on the last day, Thursday, in two groups. What cute little girls!

At the end of every one of the six classes, the teacher gave the girls time for free dance... which is something our free-spirited little Allie really needed-- that time to really break out and do the "fancy" stuff she was wanting to do. By the way, have you noticed Sami's little exclamations here and there? She wanted to be a part of it all so badly, poor thing. Maybe next year...

Missed the Boat

Oh, darn it, I hate days like this! Days where I wake up and one little incident sets me off and puts me in a horrible mood for the rest of the day. Of course, I completely realize it's all my fault, which makes it all the worse. Will I ever get this mothering thing right? Sure doesn't seem like it often times, with all I do to fail miserably.

Allie lost her ballet slippers this morning (of course I just found them thirty minutes ago, but that's beside the point), the morning of her last day of dance camp, which included a little recital. Somehow she misplaced them, and except for looking in two places she refused to look for them ALL MORNING, and preferred to just sit and pout or cry because "they were gone!" not to mention I was darn angry. I'll admit, I threw my own fit about it, ranting and raving about how I had to get myself ready and that she needed to get off her duff and start looking, and then I had a good cry. I did apologize to her, but I'm still in a really bad mood. I tried to be positive during her class, but she just messed around the entire time-- jumping like a maniac, unable to maintain focus for more than thirty seconds, making faces at the other kids or me. Ugh. It didn't help that after I get us all buckled in the car to go home, and am pulling out of my parking space, that Allie declares with a gasp, "My necklace!" She had worn her butterfly necklace to class (even though I tell her "no jewelry") and the teacher had her take it off and set it aside. So, we had re-park and all get out of the car to go back to the second floor and retrieve her necklace.

Having already been in a bad mood, this did not help.

So just now as I was going about the house, picking up toys and magazines, I lifted up two copies of The Friend from the banana chair seat to see those darn ballet slippers. I quietly took them in to Allie, and she clasped her hands by her heart in joy. I held my arms out and she wrapped her little arms around me in a tight hug, grinning that cute, cheesy little grin of hers. I left the room, and it occurred to me where I went wrong this morning (besides the fact that I threw a fit). I'm sure many of you moms out there have already figured it out.

How many times do we read in church magazines or hear conference talks relating experiences where the mother taught the child in such a situation to pray for help and guidance? Sure, they were only ballet slippers, but they were important to Allie... and to me apparently. Instead of calmly suggesting we pray for help and then go searching with a clear head receptive to the Spirit's promptings, I chose to get angry and nag the poor child. Way to go, Mom. When I realized this, I doubled over and bawled. I totally missed an opportunity to teach the power of prayer. I'm sure the opportunity will come again, but I tend to beat myself up whenever I mess up... which means I spend my life black and blue.

I just need to put it all behind me, and be determined that I won't make the same mistake next time. Can't guarantee it, but at least I can be more conscientious about it.

Called to Serve

I bore my testimony in Sacrament Meeting yesterday, having been really touched my the testimony born of a young man who attended Scout Camp with Kevin last week. This 12-year-old got up to the podium of his own free will and expressed his gratitude for the wonderful experience he had at Scout Camp. Did he talk about the hatchet throwing or swimming or canoeing? No, he talked about the scripture study their troop had together each night and how that really strengthened him. Wow. Suddenly it was all worth it. I knew that allowing Kevin to be gone for a week at camp, which took up a week of vacation time, was a sacrifice that was well worth it if it is building young testimonies preparing them to be determined missionaries and wonderful fathers and leaders in the future. They needed him. And while I kind of like having him around here, I get him all the time, but those boys don't get these camp experiences everyday.

And, really, that is what church service is all about-- building the kingdom by strengthening those that are its foundation. I'm often asked by those that aren't of our faith, "Why can't you just say 'no'? You don't have to do it." I'm not offended by this in the least, because I realize they just don't understand. They don't understand that while I can say no, and while I realize I don't have to do anything, I want to serve. And I want to serve because I know the gospel is true. I know that the true gospel, the organization of the Church, and the Priesthood were all restored by the Lord through Joseph Smith. And because of that, because the Spirit has testified to me that Joseph did indeed see God the Father and Jesus Christ, I know that my Savior, my Redeemer lives. If I didn't, I wouldn't have any desire to accept callings of service with the thought that I wouldn't get anything in return, that it would just be taking up time.

Truthfully though, while I know such callings are a sacrifice of time or maybe even money at times, the rewards come in blessings-- blessings of increased compassion for others, or perhaps developed talents or skills that may have remained buried or undiscovered. But the best blessings of all come when you realize your efforts, with help from the Lord, have strengthened the testimony of another.

Nothing is more rewarding than that.

In the Past Month

This week really hasn't been as awful as I had anticipated. Wow, that probably sounds extremely pessimistic. In explanation, Kevin was away at Scout camp-- got back just after 11 o'clock Saturday morning, when the girls and I were at a birthday party. He left at about 4am Monday morning to meet the boys at the church and make the drive to La-No-Che. I never like this week, since it gets kind of lonely... adult-wise. I mean, it's hard to feel lonely with two firecrackers for daughters like ours around, but I do miss talking with Kevin about the day after the girls go to sleep. But to explain why it wasn't "as awful" as I thought it would be, I was just really busy. I had a million little errands to run in the afternoon, and in the morning I was running around from swimming lessons to dance camp for Allie. Then after getting the girls in bed, I had dishes and laundry folding to do. Kevin would call, I'd read my scriptures and say my prayers, and then it would be time for bed. And I was exhausted! My only downtime came during nap time after lunch where I would either crash myself, or have a chance to read emails or blogs or "window" internet shop. I really was much busier than usual, but, honestly, I think it was a little tender mercy from the Lord. He knows this week always seems long for me, and by keeping me unusually busy (beyond the norm) it went a lot faster for me and was much more tolerable. The girls and I had our moments of butting heads, but for the most part we really enjoyed each other, and I really don't think they got as sick of mom as I thought they would.

The three of us went to the Independence Day parade in Downtown Melbourne Friday morning. There was a lot of campaigning going on, which was great for the girls. With how much candy they got, it rivaled Halloween. Next time we'll bring Sami's plastic pumpkin. The Samuelses invited us over that night-- swimming in their pool, screaming in fear at their harmless little dog (the girls did, not me), wolfing hotdogs and hamburgers and homemade pie, watching movies, and, of course, lighting off fireworks. We spent nearly two hours out on the driveway, the young kids throwing harmless poppers at the concrete, and the big kids and adults lighting the "big boys" at the street. They do make me nervous, but it's all in good fun and Allie loved it. The fireworks they lit really were quite spectacular--had they been in California, the cops would have locked them up and thrown away the key. Yeah, they were that good. Of course, Sami didn't last thirty second outside with the noise and fire before bursting into tears and begging to go inside. Linda kindly carried her inside to watch a movie in their mini theater.

Kevin seemed really positive about his camp experience this year. His new Scout Committee chair, who is a dad to one of his Scouts, came for the whole week, too. Sure, the boys whined about having to do this or that (personally, I would have smacked them upside each of their heads had I been there-- I hate whining, especially from boys), but in the end they always took part, and I'll bet they enjoyed it. On Thursday, Kevin, along with two of his boys, participated in and completed the mile swim. They had woken up at 5:30 every morning until then to practice. I think it's great that Kevin did it, and I'm proud of him. I think it's really cool, though, that these young boys had the will to challenge themselves like that, and I'm sure they are feeling so much empowerment for it. I told one of their dads (who is our bishop) yesterday morning at our ward's holiday breakfast about his son having done it, and he was pretty proud of his boy. I just think it's great.

As I mentioned earlier, the girls have been in swimming lessons for the past month. Allie may not be the most graceful swimmer around (heck, she's only four), but she has no fear. She honestly believes she can swim really well, which can be scary-- she has this false sense of security in her abilities. But her teachers and I have worked hard to drill it into her that she needs to swim with an adult, and hold on to the side when the adult isn't looking. She's wild, man! This week was their last week of lessons for a while, and her teachers let her class jump off the diving board if they so had the desire. As I suspected, Allie was the first one on the board, having jumped off just as the teacher had put himself in position to grab her. The other kids were hesitant, not so sure about it, but Allie was in heaven, belly flops and all. I was bummed I didn't have my camera. Sami, on the other hand, lives life with a bit more caution than her sister. She and I swam together for the Parent/Tot class, and while she did have her bad days of clingy-ness and whiny-ness, she really did well overall and was very brave for the most part. And she may not jump in unless she's holding my hands, or won't want to go underwater unless I go too, but the fact is that she will do those things. But it is really cute when she turns to me in the water and declares, "I want to go under with you, Mom!"

Allie also started dance camp this past week. Was she ever excited! The morning of, I went in to her room to "wake her up," having found her already up dressed in her leotard, tights, ballet slippers, and a pink, sparkly tutu she had found among her dress-up clothes. The first day, I sat and watched her... and Sami bawled the whole time-- she wanted to dance, too. But Allie was hilarious to watch. She really thought she'd be doing the fancy stuff, but the teacher was teaching her things like (gasp) first position and pointing your toes. For shame! So, she would do as her teacher asked, then quickly break out of position to protest, "But I want to dance!" She wanted to get to the good stuff. Her teacher has a lot of patience.

Earlier in the month my little sister Mallory finally was able to come out for a visit. It was fun to have her around to talk with, and the girls loved her to pieces... which I don't think was only because she gave them a small present everyday. A little bribery never hurts now and then. :) We braved the beach one day with the girls, attended a Relief Society pool party, took the girls out to lunch a couple times, and helped them paint a plate and a bowl as Kevin's Father's Day gifts. At the end of the week, we made the drive to Disney's Animal Kingdom in Orlando, which was Mal's first choice of the parks-- neither of us had been there. We had a good time, but it felt more like an extremely commercialized zoo than anything. In the middle of the park, the designers put a gigantic tree covered in tribal-like animal carvings where, at the base, they showed a 3-D movie about bugs. Since Sami is terrified of bugs, we had avoided it until we decided we really wanted to go explore the tree. It wasn't until we were going in line for the movie that we realized it wasn't like the Swiss Family Robinson's tree house at Disneyland where you could actually explore independently. There was nothing to explore-- just the movie. I was hesitant, but then saw that the main character from A Bug's Life, Flik, was the "host" of the movie. I reasoned with myself, All right, if a cartoon character is hosting this movie, how scary could it be? Flik's motive in the computer-animated movie was to familiarize the audience with various bugs and their purposes. The catch? They were all poisonous or aggressive bugs, the first one introduced being a gigantic hairy spider that shoots balls of something at creatures it wants to capture and eat. Before the first "shot" had finished, Sami was crying and trembling, her head buried in my shoulder. It wasn't long before an acid-throwing termite made his way out, the seats in front of us spraying water all over us. Allie seemed to be getting a bit jumpy at this point. I looked around for an exit sign, but I couldn't find a single one, nor an employee to help me. Then a mechanical grasshopper appeared to the side of the screen, which brought on the screen a gigantic hand with a can of Raid (or similar) that spraying the "poison" in attempt to kill the grasshopper, meaning the room was filled with clouds of water vapor. By this point, Allie was screaming along with Sami, and I couldn't see anything to know how the heck to escape. Mallory was dying laughing at how terrified the girls were, and I was panicking because I was blinded by the vapor, and that stupid hand on screen kept spraying more Raid. Finally, when the fog lifted we ran to the side of the theater where a flashlight appeared out of the dark, and an employee led us to fresh air. This all happened two days before Father's Day, and the girls still talk about the monster (the grasshopper) at the Animal Kingdom. Wow, was that ever a bad idea!

Well, now that I've written a novel, maybe I should stop and let my fingers breathe.