Of all the places to tatoo yourself, Sami...

Kevin was too busy carving the pumpkin (and I was busy cleaning the seeds) to notice Sami had taken the blue marker he had been using . Apparently she thought it would be a good idea to apply it to her lips just as skillfully as she applies Chapstick.

In the Past Month...

As for now, Blogger is letting me in again. I'm just mentally preparing for the day it will kick me out. If I suddenly stop blogging again, you'll know why.

Is everyone ready for the "big vote" on Tuesday? Maybe some of you have already participated in early voting or have sent in absentee ballots. I'm starting to regret not having done either of those, since I'm anticipating the line to be insane. And then I'll have to try to keep little Sami entertained the whole time. Thankfully, Allie will be in school, so I won't have to worry about having to break up cat fights... unless someone tries to pick one with me. But who would pick a fight with a pregnant lady? How pathetic would that be?

But anyhow, I need to do some more studying up on local candidates... which really is a joke. For the most part, the only thing I ever know about the candidates is their name, and that's only because of the millions of annoying signs posted all over town. Their websites say nothing but "fluff." These people are just so difficult to research. And then don't get me started on the lingo used for the proposed amendments. Sure, we get a sample ballot in the mail so we can make a decision before we get to the polls, but it's difficult to make a decision when I can't decipher the meaning. What am I missing? Do I need an Ovaltine Little Orphan Annie Secret Decoder Pen or something?

Well, I suppose I should actually talk about what happened this past month.

We made one of our last day trips to Sea World. The girls had three goals-- to see Shamu, play in the water, and ride the roller coaster (okay, so Sami's too little for that one). They achieved their goals just for Allie to exclaim after the Shamu show, "Where was the girl in the pink swimsuit?" Pink swimsuit? Oh, that's Blue Horizons, the dolphin show. Turns out she really hadn't cared to see Shamu at all, she just wanted to see the dolphin show with the "girl in the pink swimsuit." Oops. Maybe next time. But I think she was fine with Shamu.

I got to take the girls to the pumpkin patch down the street. We go there every year, but this year I took them during the day with a bunch of other moms and kids from Allie's school to participate in their little "field trip." We all went on a hayride (thankfully another mother had mosquito repellant wipes on hand), they read the kids stories and gave them drinks, and finished it off with a small pumpkin and "goodie bag" to take home. It was a hot afternoon (and I had decided to wear black of all colors) and the girls got a bit sunburned, but they really did have a blast. We went back in the evening the next week so we could pick out a family pumpkin with Kev.

We carved the pumpkin last Monday night for Family Home Evening, which always ends up being a ton more work for Kev and me while the girls just run around like maniacs. But this time, we let Allie get a little more involved by designing the jack-o-lantern's face. Kevin modified it slightly, since Allie wanted a silly face and her idea of a "silly" mouth was drawing a tangle of squiggles. But the rest of it was pretty true to Allie's design. Our little artist. She sure is proud of her works of art, and why shouldn't she be? The bold colors, heavy Van-Gogh-like strokes with her crayons... Her art is 100% Allie, true to the intensity within.

And speaking of "100% Allie," the little Miss was once again a princess for Halloween, as was her sister. That's three years in a row for Allie, and two for Sam. Allie wanted to wear her Snow White dress, so we went and got her some glittery red shoes shoes from Target to match, as well as a red ribbon for her hair from JoAnn's. Sami wanted to be Princess Anneliese from Barbie in Princess and the Pauper. It could have been complicated, if Allie hadn't already owned a pink princess dress and a gold crown. Perfect! As for Kev and me, we used the ward's basketball jerseys and dressed as BYU Intramural basketball players. A pregnant woman running down the court there is not unusual. In fact, I distinctly remember the last intramural volleyball team I played on-- all but two were pregnant... and we made it to the championship game. Of course, we were in the lowest division... and the single's ward we played creamed us, but it's not like no one saw that coming. Come on! Yup, only at BYU.

The girls went to a few houses in the neighborhood, and then we went to the Trunk-or-Treat at the church building. We had game in the back of the van (oh yeah, we got a van-- anyone want to buy a '99 Subaru?) where kids could earn two pieces of candy by throwing these fuzzy tennis balls at a Velcro target and getting a bulls eye. It amazed me how many kids really wanted to try it. We had a line of kids waiting their turn oftentimes. I love stuff like that.

The girls got loaded up on candy, and had a blast showing off their beautiful costumes. Kevin and I now just need to make sure we don't sneak all their candy, which is sitting on top of the fridge. We've been pretty good, though, and it's harder for Kev than for me, since he's the one with the major sweet tooth. He really has honed his will-power over the past year or so. I've been impressed with his will to resist the sweets. Of course, it helps that I just don't buy them.

Well, I had better go get Sami up from her nap.

Criticism-- the Great Limiter

I wrote this on October 6th, but was unable to access Blogger to post it. So, here you go...

The other night I was watching Oprah. Not that this is a regular occurrence, because it’s not. I really don’t watch her show that much, mainly because I can’t stand the way so many women literally worship her. But I have to say she has some interesting topics for her shows… and I do like her.

This time it was about women, and mothers in particular, who feel overwhelmed by life and the responsibilities and expectations that follow them. Or should I say haunt them? I sat down to watch while folding laundry when there was only about twenty minutes left in the show. They interviewed women in the audience and women by phone, collecting their stories of the near-disasters that occurred in their homes with their children all because the poor women were feeling more than spent. They had nothing left to give at that point. I’ve felt like that, so I could relate, feeling their pain as I listened to the stories of the babies nearly strangling themselves on a telephone chord or the mother contemplating running out of the bathroom “just for a second” to grab her Blackberry while her baby sat in the bathtub. But something at the very end got to me.

I heard, “Why do women criticize each other? We are so harsh, when really we need each other’s support so much more.”

Easy.

Women tend to be so much more aware and ashamed of our weaknesses. We find evidence of them each day, as we see ourselves failing to meet the expectations set by ourselves when it comes to fulfilling everyone’s needs. There’s this unspoken rule of womanhood and motherhood that we need to be everything to everyone, and that we need to do that perfectly. But we can’t do it perfectly—we’d never be able to. And it eats us alive.

Women are critical of each other because it brings validation of their owns strengths. Women point out weaknesses in others, which to them are strengths. And for just a moment, they feel perfect. They know they are not, but no matter. I honestly don’t believe that most women are trying to be cruel or vengeful in their criticisms, but they are attempting to bring themselves up on a little bit higher plane. If they can feel they’re a better mother than someone else, then just maybe they’ve succeeded. And the more one criticizes, perhaps the more insecure she feels and the more validation she is seeking, that’s what I say.

But I’m not going to say I don’t take part in this—that would be lying. I just try really, really hard to keep those unproductive criticisms in my head. Hold your tongue, Krissy, I tell myself, It’s not worth it.

What we all fail to remember, though, is that this thing called life is not a race. It’s not a contest. No one is going to hand us some huge gold medal at the pearly gates for being the “best mother on earth.” No one will put us in ranks. We are women. We are mothers. Our responsibilities are never-ending, but our capacity to tackle them, while great, is also limited. This is something we just need to accept, not fear. Accepting it empowers, fearing it limits us.

We all have strengths to counter our weaknesses. Looking as those strengths humbly, knowing they come ultimately from God will give us no reason to criticize other women who are trying just as hard to “do it all” as we are. We will understand that all have their own strengths, and all have their own weaknesses. And in spite of our weaknesses, which God has given us to promote growth (and humility), He trusts that with our sincere effort and with His help, we can do it, we can make it. Our kids really can grow up happy and healthy, and we can be successful contributors to society, in spite of our many mistakes.

As we come to realize this, does that mean we won’t ever criticize? Probably not. But at least we can learn to tell ourselves, Hold your tongue. It’s just not worth it.

And then there’s always the consolation that we have all eternity to develop perfect charity, but this is a start.

Just the Facts

Okay, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I have conservative political views. If not, well, now you do. I have listened to Obama, read liberal blogs, listened to a bit of conservative talk radio, read the newspaper... I may not be super knowledgeable, but I know enough to have an opinion that I disagree with Obama on...well... nearly everything.

But in spite of that, do you what really bothers me? I have gotten email after email about how Obama shouldn't be the president because he's a Muslim (which he's not, by the way), or how he is the anti-Christ, or how we shouldn't vote for him because he doesn't believe we're a Christian nation, which by the way I don't either-- we were founded on Christian principles by Christian men not to be a Christian nation, but rather to be a place free from religious tyranny where all could worship God as they please, and I think it's a beautiful thing that our country welcomes all religions (if not, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints would not exist-- we may know we're Christian, but all too many do not agree). Declaring our country to have a national religion is exactly what our forefathers were trying to flee.

If you have been one to send me one of these emails, know that I still love you. I still respect you. Please forgive me for my boldness.

But here's my point... Shouldn't we be voting according a candidate's policies and philosophies? I want to get opinions based on solid facts, perhaps even with references. I don't want hearsay or speculation regarding a candidate's stance with God. And in my opinion, stuff like that just gives liberals more ammo about how conservatives are religious wackos.

So in the words of Joe Friday, "All we want are the facts, ma'am."

It happened again...

I'm at the library right now, logging in merely to let you all know that until further notice, I can't access my blog from the house. So, I won't be blogging for a while. Sorry, dudes.