My Choir Concert

Well, we had our choir concerts this weekend-- one Friday night, with another one this afternoon. Let me tell ya, I am beat. My head is killing me, possibly a combination of my sinuses being clogged, and having to sing "in the rafters" for nearly ninety minutes straight. I nearly didn't make it, though. Although I felt the Lord was with me, strengthening me.

This season has been tough with all the times I've had to "whine" about being sick. I really hate making any type of excuse for my poor performance, but David needed to know why I continued to struggle singing that dang solo. I tried, honestly I did. I would practice at home nearly everyday, trying to make it sound flute-like, just as it was meant to sound. But with my sinuses being blocked it has been difficult to find the right placement. For the most part, I think David has been quite patient with me, with this (seemingly false) sense of hope that I would be fine to sing it. This afternoon he snapped... just a little.

I was tired, had woken up from a nap about an hour earlier. I attempted to warm up in the car (yeah, right), chugging water all the way. In the choir room, David decided to have us run through the last section of "Hymn to St. Cecilia". I slumped in my chair. Oh no, I'm not even warm! Of course, that's the section including my duet and solo. Not wanting to wear myself out, I sang the duet pretty weakly. Then my solo came. I mustered up all could (which wasn't much at that point), and he stopped me mid-phrase, looked at me with apparent irritation, and told me, "Krissy, you're sharp." I thought, I am never going to get this right! He was about to go over it again, when, thankfully, he realized that was pointless. He said, "And this is why I don't like to go over stuff right beforehand. Nerves get to people..." Ya think? Why didn't you just stick to your original policy? I was extremely frustrated. Nikki tried to cheer me up, and the choir members really tried to encourage me-- "Break a leg, Krissy!" "You're going to fine." I said a silent prayer in my heart that I would remember the Priesthood blessing Kevin had given me Thursday night. I was greatly comforted knowing the Lord would grant me the strength to make it through and share the talent that has been given me.

We got to St. Cecilia and I felt my stomach fill with butterflies. It went fine up through the duet. As my solo neared, I was so close to turning to Amy next to me, elbowing her and asking her to do it for me, but I fought the urge, took a deep breath, and sang. Nah, it wasn't perfect. But it was much more than I could have done on my own at that point. I started to run out of air at a bad spot, but ended up just taking one in the middle of a word just before a fairly long phrase (for me)-- heck, it's a freaky poem anyway, and no one understands a word of what I'm saying. It think it came off well, though. I have no idea what David thought. He was probably disappointed that it didn't sound the way he had intended, but I really did the best I could, and I suppose that's all anyone can ask. I'm only a wimpy, imperfect mortal, after all.

I really wish I didn't care what David thought, but I do. He's my director. I want him to be pleased with what I do-- not ashamed or embarrassed.

But at least I know that my Father in Heaven would never be disappointed in me for trying my best, and for fighting my worst fears. So, I suppose that, in spite of what David thought, I should be satisfied in knowing my Father loves me and is pleased with my efforts, no matter the imperfections.

In the Past Month

I just came back in from the back porch, which is screened (Florida-- nuff said), where I had to run around like a fool to chase a little lizard out... for the third time since lunch! What the heck is this lizard's deal, his (or her) attachment to our porch? Oh, and it's easy to find the sucker since it always goes to the same spot-- sits at the top of the metal chair sitting in the sun. And he just sits there, sunning himself. Vain little... Most lizards have not been either able or willing to sneak into our porch. What's the point really? No bugs, so no food. But this guy is bound and determined to make that dang chair his home. I actually had tried to chase him into a bucket I had put on the ground so that I could throw him out of the yard, but he actually just squeezed back under the door and ran out into the yard. But I'm all anxious now about this lizard finding his way back in and torturing me.

Anyway... I know that I said I was back, like, eons ago. I was wrong, which is why nothing has been posted since January. Up until yesterday, when Kev was prompted to get a new modem in hopes of it solving our Vonage issues (audio kept getting dropped on one side-- very annoying), I couldn't log in, but suddenly with the new modem, we could log in to Blogger easily. Uh, okay. I'm not going to question it. But recently I did actually start a new blog with freeblogit, since they would actually let me in. Since this works now, though, I'll rededicate my blogging to Blogger (I think it's better), but if you'd like to see the other blog from March go to www.k2smiths.freeblogit.com.

So let's see, March stuff. Deseret Ranch held their annual rodeo at the beginning of the month. The buckin' bronco riding was pretty sweet, and so was the Mutton Bustin'. Actually that was hilarious-- seeing these kiddies with cowboy hats and boots sit on a sheep as it tried to run away from them. One little girl totally face planted in the dirt, almost immediately, but her dad swooped in to pick her up and the crowd whooped and hollered for her. I'd say, though, that the highlight for the event was when all the little kids were invited out to run around and try to catch piglets. Only the ranch kids were really trying to catch the pigs, so it seemed. All the other kids just ran around like maniacs squealing with delight. Allie was out there with Kevin (Sami was too chicken), and I never saw her run towards anything with a curly tail, but she sure did run the entire time, laughing all the way.

The girls had both of their birthdays-- Allie turned four, and Sami turned two. You can read about Allie's birthday on the other blog. For Sami's birthday, we spent the morning at the zoo, eating a "special lunch" at the snack bar-- ya know, chicken nuggets, applesauce, fries, etc. And in the spirit of St. Patrick we were all in green, of course. I'll always need to make sure Sami has something green to wear on her birthday, especially in elementary school. Wouldn't want her to get pinched on her birthday!

Allie also got on a picnic kick. For a while, she was asking to have a picnic lunch everyday, which was actually nice since the weather, while warm, has been quite enjoyable. So we've spent a lot of time outside picnicking, and the girls have been drawing on the driveway with the sidewalk chalk I got for them.

Well, I should probably go check for that darn lizard again. Little bugger.

I'm Back!

All right, I don't know what it about Blogger that makes it hate me so much. See how my last post was, oh, in November? Over two months ago! Ridiculous. I still can't log in normally, though. I was just visiting another blog, and decided to "just see" if I could sign in from there. Took me straight to my dashboard without any of those stupid "connection interrupted" messages I usually get. So, with all that said... I actually don't really have time to post anything right now, but I'll update all this soon. Ciao.

Halloween

We had two princesses on Halloween this year. I had planned on having Sami wear Allie's cow costume, but she wanted to wear the snow princess dress my mom had gotten Allie last Christmas. I got them all dressed up after their afternoon nap, and then took them to a few houses to "trick-or-treat" while waiting for Kev to get home. Then we headed over to the trunk-or-treat at the church. Kev and I wore his parents' old clothes from the 70s, and we had to tell people that, yes, these were actually real clothes the his parents really wore. To decorate our trunk, I wrapped Allie's beach ball in aluminum foil and hung it in the back, and had Jackson 5 blasting from the car stereo. We had a good time... and the girls got loaded with candy. Ugh.

In the Past Month

If Kevin has anymore weekend-long Scout training in the future, I'm going to pull my hair out. At this point, thankfully, it seems like he actually might be done with training, unless he wants to do the super hard-core training, which he doesn't. He had to be gone the weekend of General Conference for the second half of Wood Badge training. And please don't ask me what Wood Badge is, 'cause I really have no idea. I do know that over the two weekends, they launched some rocket-type things, Kev sang in a quartet, and they had to give presentations. Oh yeah, and they did have to make goals for their Scout troops to accomplish over a certain period of time. I'm sure they did other things, but I don't know what, or maybe I just don't remember. At least, I hope they did other things. Otherwise, what the heck were they doing for six days? Kev does have an assistant Scoutmaster now, though, which the both of us are thankful for. Hopefully, Kev won't have to ask to have anymore camp outs here so he can have a second adult around. Not that that's kosher either, but it's better than him being by himself.

Just last weekend, Kev and Sean took the Scouts camping on a small island in the Indian River. They borrowed someone's motorboat from the 2nd ward to get across. He said after getting over to the island, they played in the water for a while, but then after coming back on the beach and putting his shirt on, he felt little bites all over him. He came home the next with about 300 bites all over his arms and legs. Literally 300. He had put on some insect repellent from the Scout closet at the church, but I'm wondering how old it was, and if it's age had caused it to lose effectiveness. He said he grossed some people out at the work the next Monday. At least something good came out of the situation.

Allie and I made a whirlwind three-day trip to Utah on the 17th. Sarah and Jeremiah got married in the Salt Lake temple, and there was no way I was missing that. I had planned on just making the trip by myself, but then after deciding I'd stay with Kev's sister Erika and her family, I thought the kids would be awfully disappointed if I didn't bring at least one kid with me. So, I settled on Allie, since, surprisingly, she is actually much easier to fly with than little Sam. Allie can carry her own backpack, use the restroom, walk long distances without the need of a stroller, and pretty much just keep herself entertained for hours on end. Sami, on the other hand, is still a baby in that she needs a stroller in large, chaotic places, she can't sit still, and she needs to be entertained. I could have brought her, too, and flown her for free as a lap child, but there was no way I was doing that on my own. I wanted to actually enjoy the trip. And we did! We got to spend an hour with Sarah after arriving in Salt Lake, then drove down to Spanish Fork to see Steve and Erika and the kids. The wedding was the next day, so Allie stayed with Erika and Bri and Nate while I went to the temple by myself. I parked in a lot that cost five bucks to park in, but they didn't have an attendant-- it was an on-your-honor thing, where you had to put your money in a slot whose number coordinated with your stall number. I only had a twenty, panicked, and asked a lady who was a row down from me herding three or four kids and a baby if she had change for a twenty. She said she didn't, but that she had a five. I told her she didn't have to pay for my parking, but she said it was no big deal. I tried to see if she needed any help, but she insisted she didn't and started trekking it up to, I'm guessing, the Joseph Smith Memorial Building for a wedding she said she had to get to. She had kids walking with her, was pushing a stroller and carrying a baby carrier, had to walk somewhat uphill, AND she was faster than me. Talk about hard core!

As I crossed the street to get to Temple Square, a homeless woman, probably not all that much older than me, bundled in a weathered tan coat, tears filling her eyes, stopped me asking if I had any spare change. Normally I don't have any cash with me... but I realized I did have that twenty. I was reminded of that kind young mother that had just helped me out, giving me her five dollars without a thought, and was prompted to "pass it on." I hesitated slightly,remembering I had brought that twenty for emergency purposes and for any cases where I could only use cash, but relying on good faith, I opened up my purse, pulled out the twenty and put it in her hand telling her, "You know, here you go. Someone just helped me out." Then she kindly directed me to the entrance of the temple since I couldn't seem to remember where it was.

The temple was busy as usual, with large groups of people in the lobby in their Sunday best obviously having just attended various other sealings of the day. My old roomie Carrie was there in the sealing room-- neither one of us expecting to see the other. What a sacred place, the temple. That is one place where one really gains an understanding of reverence. All the verbal praising in the world cannot replace the Spirit felt there-- a place where you can feel the weight of the world literally being removed from your shoulders. Sarah looked beautiful, of course, and the love of friends, family, and the Lord evident in that breathtaking room was almost indescribable-- kind of like coming home. I felt honored to have been invited to witness that beautiful event.

In walking back to my car, I ran into another homeless woman with blond scraggly hair and a few missing teeth, but a sweet smile nonetheless. I did have about fifty cents left in my wallet, other than a bunch of pennies, so I gave that to her. We talked for a few minutes about the weather, and I indicated I wasn't used to the crisp air anymore since I've moved to Florida. She told me she was from Ohio. We said goodbyes and I continued to walk when I ran into that same homeless woman from the first time. She didn't recognize me and asked me for change again. I put my hand on her shoulder and said, "Hon, I actually already gave you some earlier." Her eyes widened and filled with tears, then she put her hand over them embarrassed saying, "Oh, you did! I'm so sorry. I try really hard to remember the faces of those that give me money, so I don't ask the same people over and over and look stupid." I put my arm around her, reassuring her that I didn't think she was stupid, and that it would be difficult for anybody. She continued to cry for a bit, while I kept my arm around her comforting her. It was an interesting experience, one I had never really had before. But I was reminded of my mother. I knew that had she been in the same situation, she would have done the same thing... and she has done the same exact thing many times before. I finally caught a glimpse of the way my mother loves and feels for every single person she meets, no matter who they are or what their circumstance is. In turn, I caught a glimpse of the way each person is loved and valued by the Lord. I felt that love-- the love for those women, and the love the Lord has for me. It was a pivotal experience that I cannot forget.

Later that evening I drove to the reception at Thanksgiving Point. Jessie, my niece, came with me, and we sat with Sarah's siblings and Carrie most of the evening. Jessie, who's eleven, caught the bouquet, which I knew would give Steve a heart attack.

The next day Allie and I flew home-- a long, tiring flight. Allie was fine to fly, then excited to see our green car in the Orlando parking lot, but pretty darn upset when she wanted to drive to see her cousins. "But I wanna see my cousins! I wanna see Bri!" Maybe someday we'll live a bit closer to some of her cousins. My little social butterfly.

Oh, I almost forgot! Last weekend was our Relief Society craft day, and (get this!), I was asked to teach (are you ready?) a class on sewing aprons. Yup. I taught a sewing class. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha (deep breath) ha ha ha ha! I can't say I was a great teacher, but the aprons actually weren't as hard as I thought they would be, and I did have a few people leave the class with completed aprons, which is always a good sign. I could have turned down the request to teach it, but I accepted it, merely to stretch my comfort zone.

I think everyone could use a good stretch now and then.