In the Past Month

It was about five weeks ago when I found the lump in my thyroid. I assumed it was just a goiter-- that my thyroid level on my medication was too low and needed to be adjusted. A goiter is what I discovered six years ago when I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. But this time a blood test, CT scan, ultrasound, and referral to an endocrinologist later, I started to wonder if it was something more than just a goiter. I still don't know what it is, but should know by next Monday. I had a biopsy last Friday, which was like getting blood drawn, but out of your neck... three times. My thyroid gland ached all day Friday, and has ached occasionally during the day everyday since then. But the pain seems to be fading slowly with each new day. I'm not complaining-- it is what it is. But I'm going on with life as if nothing has changed. I have to. Sure, there's a possibility that the nodule could need to be surgically removed, which may interfere with our plans to fly to San Diego at the end of the month. Or it could interfere with the modern dance class I'm taking that started this week (holy cow, I am so not flexible anymore). I actually try not to think about it too much, so I don't lose my focus. I get on Allie's case all the time for getting distracted when she's trying to complete a task. I can't allow myself to get distracted by something I have no control over. Of course, it's easy for me to do that because there isn't anything about this ailment at this point that proves to be a constant reminder of it-- like those who endure constant nausea or fatigue or severe pain. Those situations would be put on a completely different (and higher) level of tolerance and faith. I admire such people.

So let's talk about life.

Friday night was the girls' dance recital. They still take lessons from the dance academy at the Baptist church... which is nice for several reasons-- the classes are smaller and the kids are nicer, I haven't had to worry about dealing with "stage moms", and there aren't modesty issues. In fact, the dances were all biblical-- either in the portrayal of a biblical principle or story. Sami's pre-ballet class did a balletic interpretation on the battle of Jericho, with the one little boy in the class acting as "Joshua." He blew his little ram's horn (which the the other girls giggle), and they "chased" (sha-sayed) around Jericho. Allie's jazz class did they're "happy to know Jesus" dance, and her ballet class portrayed the Creation... which ended up being more of an epic than a dance (in the words of Kimberley, their teacher) with each "day" taking a minute or so. But it was beautiful. We all smiled as Allie flew around the stage, gliding and spinning and leaping, portraying every kind of "flying bird," and then she made us all laugh with her ape-like faces while attempting to dance like a monkey-- the more the audience laughed, the more she scrunched up her face and stuck her jaw out. And of course, at the end as everyone applauded and the girls walked off the stage, Allie couldn't help but blow the audience a kiss. I wish I had gotten that on video.

Well, tomorrow is Allie's last day of Kindergarten... and then she will never be a Kindergartner again. Sami finished her first year of preschool last week, even wearing for the end-of-year program the same dress Allie had worn when she was in her place two years ago. I don't remember crying when Allie finished that first year, but I did this time... just a little. I came to realize how quickly these years are going by. Billie Williams, the director of the preschool who retired at the end of the year, said, "The days are long, but the years fly by," (or something like that), and I am reminded daily of how fast my children are growing. A girl who, when we moved here, was just fifteen years old and babysat for us until she moved away after high school, got married earlier this year and is expecting her first child in November. Time really isn't standing still like I sometimes believe it is just because I tend to do have the same routine day in and day out.

The girls tried to make Mother's Day special for me, with special pictures and cards they had made for me. Of course, they complained about the dinner Kev had made for me-- grilled ribs and peppers and onions, as well as hummus and homemade whole wheat pita. He had gone shopping for me the day before, and surprised me with a new vacuum-- we couldn't take the squealing from our ten-year-old vacuum anymore. The Friday before that Sunday, Allie's class had prepared a special Mother's Day presentation, where the kids presented their mothers (or grandmothers) with cookies and orange juice, songs, and mini-speeches on why they love their mothers. I spent some time taking pictures of Allie with her friends before checking her out early to enjoy the rest of the day with us.

On April 28th, Kevin and I officially celebrated our 10th anniversary with a nice dinner at Scott's on Fifth in Indialantic. It's a little strange to think that those first five years were spent at BYU, and the latter five years have been here in Florida.

It's been a bit difficult to get all of this written down with all that has been going on. But I'm glad I finally took a moment to do it.